Save Marriage from Divorce:  It's a Partnership

In light of the divorce rate being at or above 50% for so long, devoting some serious thought about how to save marriage from divorce is definitely worthwhile. Couples who don't do this are apt to become part of that sad statistic. If you want to ensure that your marriage has a strong possibility of enduring instead of winding up in divorce court, it's time for you to pay some attention to it. When you want to save marriage from divorce, stay away from the destructive behaviors described below.

It's Not a Competition, So Don't Keep Score

Marriage is not a competition or game where you keep track of what your partner does or does not do. Instead, marriage is intended to be a partnership. Although it's fun to have some playful, light-hearted competition, it's destructive to expect your spouse to reward you in kind in exchange for every nice thing you do. The result of this expectation is often a power struggle and an attempt to manipulate each other.

This behavior also facilitates mistrust and resentment, and neither of those feelings will do anything to help save marriage from divorce.

Here's an example: the husband skips playing golf with his friends one day so he'll be able to stay home and babysit the kids while his wife goes out shopping. On the surface, this seems like a nice thing for the husband to do. However, if the husband holds it over the wife's head as some type of "debt" when he wants something from her in the future, there's nothing nice about it. Rather than doing something nice because of spousal manipulation, a hidden agenda or a "debt," a couple who wants to save marriage from divorce will do things for each other out of love. Actions taken for the wrong reasons mean that the marriage is in dire straits.

Nag, Nag, Nag

Unfortunately, our parents all taught us some unhealthy behaviors, whether they meant to or not. If one of your parents nagged the other frequently, you might have learned that behavior as a child, and now you're nagging your spouse. You probably don't need to be told that your spouse doesn't like it.

Nagging is like Chinese water torture: eventually it gets to you, and it will get to your marriage as well. Bit by bit, nagging pushes your spouse away emotionally. This can create a rift between you, and if the nagging continues eventually the rift could become an irreparable chasm. If you tend to nag, stop this destructive behavior as quickly as you can to save marriage from divorce.

Spousal Abuse Isn't Just Physical

Words can hurt as much as anything, particularly in a marriage. If you tend to lose your temper and say vicious or hurtful things to your spouse, you need to stop doing it immediately. Sooner or later your spouse will feel the emotional toll of your verbal abuse. You might think they're "just words" and even forget you ever said them, but I guarantee that your spouse won't forget.

Verbal abuse stings deeply, and the cruelty of this behavior can be extremely hard for the recipient to forget. If your marriage is having problems but you really want to save marriage from divorce, eliminate any kind of verbal abuse right away.

Many more types of destructive behavior can irreparably damage a marriage; these are just a few of them. Each of these behaviors is also extremely disrespectful. If you truly want to save marriage from divorce and have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to determine whether any of your actions are destructive. If you are engaging in any destructive behaviors you need to do whatever is required to change. Your marriage will certainly be better if you do!

For more information, see Part 2, Save Marriage Stop Divorce