Strategies That Can Stop Your Divorce

Sometimes married couples find themselves in a relationship crisis and talk of divorce starts coming up more often than ever. Divorce will definitely put and end to the conflict and give you plenty of freedom to do what you want. However, if you would rather stop your divorce, there are a few strategies you can implement right away that just might turn things around.

It should be noted that these strategies require a bit of work and the majority of the work will be done by you if your really want to stop your divorce. You can't go into this with the thought of making your spouse change. Once you start putting these strategies to work, it's likely that your spouse will notice and start making some changes in response to your efforts. Keep in mind that some of these strategies will initially feel counter intuitive. They are very likely the exact opposite of how you've been behaving.

If you're prepared to try out a few new behaviors, you might just be able to stop your divorce right in its tracks.

First, completely stop all criticism or complaints regarding your marriage or your spouse. When you engage in that type of behavior, you will simply push your spouse away and give him or her even more reason to go through with a divorce. Work hard on catching yourself any time you feel like making a negative or critical remark if you really want to stop your divorce.

The best way to do this is to assume an unusually agreeable stance. When your spouse complains or makes critical comments, agree with him. For instance, if your spouse says something like, "we constantly fight", instead of trying to convince him that you don't fight that much (and proving that he's wrong) simply agree with him. You must be sincere when you answer with something like, "you're absolutely right, we really do argue a lot." As soon as you've agreed with him, drop the subject. Don't give in to the urge to say something more or defend yourself. Simply agree.

Next, don't put pressure of any kind on your spouse. It's pretty common for one spouse to pressure the other one to make changes when there are marital problems. If you really want to stop your divorce, this is one major mistake. When you pressure a person, you will trigger their resistance and put them on the defense. If you are feeling the urge to pressure your spouse to change or work on your marriage, stop yourself from doing so.

Third, you should avoid having serious discussions. If a relationship is already fragile, these conversations can often do more harm than good. They have the potential to be damaging because they create additional pressure in the relationship. If you want to stop your divorce, you have to remember that pressure usually backfires.

Do everything you can to keep things between you casual, light hearted, and upbeat. Even though it sounds cliché, just go with the flow. Often, problems arise if we constantly fight a situation. By no longer fighting a situation, resistance is lessened which often leads to the situation turning itself around. Remember, it takes much less energy to go with the flow than to go against it.

Practice these strategies and you will have a better chance to stop your divorce. Remember, you must do these things consistently. Don't allow yourself to slip back to your old habits of complaining, criticizing, and complaining. If you do, you will quickly shift things back to the way they were. Practice these strategies to give your marriage the best possible odds of working out.

For more information, see Part 2 Stop Divorce